... Jan 24, 2010 ...

Tonight I finish half bottle of Merlot ( Red Wine ) ... this afternoon I thought I can hear ur voice to let u know I miss u .... but u said something makes me felt down ... I admit .. maybe it's I think too much it's my fault ... U told me I think too much ... I think too much just because I really love u ...
U blame me ... make problem to u ... U told me ur mom said soemthing makes u feel down ... But u nvr tell me tat ... u nvr shared tat wif me ...
U blame me I put many thing in Facebook status ... sound like u did something wrong to me... WHy ... I hav no freedom to put wat I think to facebook ...!! Why .... U told me to leave u alone ... I give u time ... to be alone ... until u feel wan2 talk to me..... !! is it enough... !!!!
U blame me this and tat.... I'm ur girlfriend ... of coz I'll think like tat ....
If u're not important for me .. I wont think too much things... ... I giv u time to Calm down .... I really dunno wat to do ...............ah..ar.... ar ...

... silent ... Jan 23, 2010

From Dec 3rd till now ... I feel tat's something changing , last time he call me on everyday , either a day once time or twice. He had been told me he miss my voice when one day i didnt call he or he didnt call me. But now he call me less, we start talk less. Now we use to msg each other to keep contact, sometime when he msg me said he going to sleep, then I'll call he .. no matter just hav few words to say, but I still wan2 call he. Cause we already can't meet each other in this 2 months, I thought we can hear each other on the phone. After he start wok for his fren, we will meet each other less. Now I feel like he just a stranger for me. Maybe he though we hav not much topic to talk bout, so he call me less. But when I feel bored, when I hav nothing to do I hope he can accompany on the phone. But he told me he wan2 watch dvd, if I hav anything just giv he a call. I feel like he use to stay at home, why he can't watch it at other time. Everytime when I hear my msg albert I thought is he, when I hear my cell phone ringing I thought is he... But tat's not..!!
I feel like everything bck to the begining, now he make me feel strange, I don't know wat will happen when I see he afterI bck to NY. I know I'll be quiet n' quiet ...

... Jan 13, 2010... Sleepless...

Now 4:46am, everybody in deep sleep .... but I was sleepless... I tried to listen music till I fall 2 sleep .. but Failed . Maybe I hav too much worries ... coz i sleepless.
Yesterday my dad said my mom will stay in m'sia until CNY, so I gotta go bck to NY alone. My mom told me to ask my bf go 2 airport to fetch me. So I call my bf from NY, I told he my mom will stay in M'sia until CNY, and I'll bck to NY 1st. I told he my mom want he to fetch me from the airport. My bf told me, he dunno when he will get day off , coz he will work in new restaurant soon. Then he just ask me take car service go bck home. I really felt disappointed of his answer. I understand his problem, he work in new restaurant , so will a bit hard to get extra day off. But what I expect is he say he will try his best to ask his boss to get 1day off / change his day off on tat day . He didnt ... he just ask me to take car service. I really felt damn damn damn disappointed .... I cried cried cried ... just 1 and half months nvr meet each other... I feel like I'm not tat important for he ... ...